So I'll be going to Indo Dance Music Festival tonight..
Why?? because basement jaxx is coming to the town, seriously xDDD. Yes, I'm so definately coming.. Even I have to throw away all of the money left inside my wallet.. hahaha. Seriously, I've been so broke lately. Because there are too many cute dresses sold, and also, because it's summer! the season when I'm able to find bunch of cute onepieces.. hehehe. And I just bought another 2 cute onepieces again.. Can you believe it? haha. Yeah, I'm quite broke. But I still HAVE to GO!! Wheee... I hope I'll be able to stay awake and be allowed to stay until 3 am today. If not, I'm gonna regret it...
Well, I can't wait until I get my monthly salary and pocket money, seriously.
Because Jakarta Great Sale would be here next month. I have to be hurry and go to ZARA and other stores before all the great stuff goes sold out.. D:
And yeah, there's some random meme to do before I forgot
WEEKEND SPECIAL MEME[s]
1. Name the one song that reminds you of your most current or recent relationship.
Michael Learns to Rock's "The Ghost of You"
2. Name the one song that was way overplayed and you hate.
Fergie's London Bridge and Rihanna's Umbrella (those songs are so fucking overrated T_T)
3. Name the one song it seems everyone loves but you don’t.
^ Same as above.
4. Name the one song you think everyone hates but you love.
Let's see, I think everyone around me againts my love on trance music. But still, trance is LOVE.
5. Name the one song that is sung by someone you’d love to date.
Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting
6. Name the one song this season that was sung best on American Idol.
Gosh, I didn't watch it AT ALL, so I don't know T_T
7. Name the one song that you think is the best love song of the 00’s thus far.
Shayne Ward's That's My Goal
8. Name the one song that you think was the best 90’s song.
Michael Learns To Rock - I'm Gonna Be Around
9. Name the one song from a TV theme that you like the best.
None.. I don't watch TV regularly, seriously.
Well yeah, so now I'll just take shower and preparing myself before my friend comes here and pick me up ;D.
What are your top five break-up songs?
Submitted by gt.
1. Michael Learns To Rock - The Ghost of You
2. Michael Learns To Rock - That's Why (You Go Away)
3. Maroon 5 - Won't Go Home Without You
4. Hideaki Tokunaga - Koi ni Ochite ~Fall in Love~
5. Shayne Ward - I Cry
Gosh.. This question is really matched with my last 3 week's mood. Seriously.. D: Even now, I'm still able to cry when I hear these songs. Oh well.
What fashion trend are you most excited to wear this season?
Summer-y Floral Dress/Onepiece. It's currently one of the hottest fashion trend here, in Indonesia. Yeah, I've been loving dresses/onepieces. But summer-y pattern ones are always the best~! :D.And actually, even I already have tons of them, I'm still looking for more of them everywhere (on the malls or plazas on Jakarta).
Didn't I already said this before? please... Get out of my head..
I said I wanted to forget about him, but why the fuck all of the memories of him keep coming into my brain? -_-;;. Well, I'm not as sad as I was on 3 weeks ago, seriously. But I'm still remembering all of the memories of him, every pieces of them. I hate being over melancholic. But, all I know is.. I already loved him too much and deeply. It's not easy to forget him completely. I'm sure he's never think of me, at all. He doesn't love me, as much as I do to him. But why...? I want to be able to forget about him and just think of him as my past. But seriously, it's fucking hard to do. I don't want to feel this way anymore.
Well yeah, so I was kind of busy with work today. And I feel kind of sick, I caught a flu, probably. My work isn't done yet, so I hope I would be able to finish it before 11.30 am tomorrow. Because I have a "meeting appointment" (wtf xD) with Elfrida. Haha, yeah it's been so long since we spent our lunch on surfing around the mall/plaza together.. Maybe I'm gonna browse for more cute dresses tomorrow on Senayan City. I hope my money would be enough to buy great dresses. Well, it's still 20 days until I get my monthly salary & pocket money so yeah.. I got to be careful..
Yeah, today is quite.. Empty? I only spent the whole day in the office, that's all. I wanted to chat with my friends, but it seems nobody is online right now. Oh well.
What is your deepest, darkest fear?
Submitted by [Susan].
Being alone for the rest of my life.. I mean, without having any love partner. I'm actually so scared of it, because.. Well, I suck on love relationships. I haven't really experienced any happy love relationships..
TMI Tuesday #134
1. Is there a TV show you HAVE to watch? If so, what is it?
For today, there's none. But Channel V's V Club is a MUST watch for me, always (and it gets broadcasted every Friday, btw)
2. What is you favorite drink if you are going to drink more than one?
Coffee, tea, vodka
3. How long do you carry guilt around with you?
Depends on how big the mistake/fault I do. If it's too big, maybe I would carry the guilt for almost years. But if it's small, maybe I would only carry it for a hour.
4. Where is or would be your number one romantic get away spot?
Paris, France. That city would be the perfect romantic get away spot for me, always.
5. Have you ever seen a counselor?
Yes, and it was because my mom forced me to do so when I was on the last year of senior high school. She thought I was such troublemaker kid and always fucked up on things. That was why she brought me there.
Bonus (as in optional): Last summer the Archives of Sexual Behavior the 237 reasons people have sex and the Top 50 Reasons Men and Women Have Sex. What are your top 5 reasons?
1. Because sex is great.. haha :P
2. Because I was attracted to him...
3. Because I was in love with him.
4. Because he turned me on, seriously..
5. Because I need the experience.
(Seriously, I'm kinda embarassed when I'm answering this question, but these are my honest answer, actually)
What's the best thing about your mom?
+ She cares about me the most when I get sick. Like; she would be stayed awake until the morning comes (when I get sick).
+ She cares about our healths so much, I mean mine, my sis's and also my dad. She always tries her best to serve the healthiest foods.
+ She cares about others so much. I'd say this is one of her minus point but, anyway, she likes to help people without asking them for pay her back.
+ She can do lots of things I wish I could do. Yeah, she keeps saying she's stupid and such whenever she's mad, but then again, I gotta admired her for her various skills..
+ She has a great fashion sense. She was the one who taught me how to wear make-up and also the one who makes me changed (on appearance and fashion style).
+ She's the one who is always supporting me on my studies and such.
+ She's the one who likes to help me whenever I have arguments or wishes that couldn't be asked to my dad.
...Well, there are still more and lots of great things about her. So yeah, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MY BELOVED MOM =D.
Well, today was quite.. a peaceful day but then when my mom came home from her relative's house, she went angry to my sister, because she just found out that my sister was smoking underage and also likes to skipped her school. So yeah, my house was full of anger's noises T_T. Which was quite sucks. I know she wasn't mad at me but then again, it caused me some headaches as well.
But there was some great things happened. We went and had dinner on "Hanamasa Restaurant". Here are some pictures of the foods (PS: it's a shabu shabu & yakiniku only restaurant, so yeah the foods were quite messy when we were eating our dinner there xD).
Well, gotta go to bed now. It's already 2.30 am, and I'm still not sleepy yet. But gotta force my eyes to closed now D:.
1. What is the first thing you notice about a person (that you are attracted to) when you meet them?
The way they're dressed, the way they talk, and also, the way they act.
2. What has been your worst illness or injury?
Illness huh.. I had an appendix surgery when I was on first year of senior high school. But then again, I've never been get injury so badly.
3. Have you ever had a secret crush and then told the person? If yes, how did it go?
Oh yeah, few times. The last one was 3 weeks ago. And it didn't went so well, I guess. Because he is already have a fiance, so he kept saying sorry to me because he couldn't be with me.. *sigh* I hate talking about this anymore, though.
4. What was the last drink that you ordered at a pub or a bar?
at a bar? it was a vodka mixed with a coffee. well, it was quite great! I just loved how my most favorite drinks got mixed into one.. It tastes so great!
5. What car have you owned that was your favorite?
Uh, I don't have my own car yet, but if I got asked about my family's car, maybe it's my dad's black escudo. The car has quite classic design but the color looks so cool and also quite classy. But I think my dad should just be more caring about that car, though. Because the car looks very dirty and didn't get much cares.
6. What is your favorite holiday?
None. I hate holiday, because it would be really crowded and full with retarded little kids everywhere I go..
7. Have you ever had sex with someone that in retrospect was (and stayed) a stranger?
No. And I wouldn't do it, forever.. It's stupid.
8. Who is your favorite female singer?
Female singer? as for now, it's Aya Matsuura. Her voice is so lovely and also very strong whenever she sings ballad. I know I'm amused, but I think that her voice is the best (even it's not as strong as Mariah Carey and anyone else in the world of western music!)
9. How often do you read the newspaper?
Almost everyday, whenever I remember to do it. If I can't read it, then I will just log on into detik.com (an Indonesian online newspaper), and read the news of the day on that site.
1. Where and when were you born?
2. Do you have siblings? If yes, tell us more.
3. What are your parents’ names?
4. Did you (or do you) know all four of your grandparents?
5. Do have children? If yes, tell us about them. If no, do you want them?
6. Do you still live in the general area that you grew up in?
7. Do you have cousins? If yes, are you or have you been close?
You mean, like family gathering or such? We didn't do that so often, but we're usually doing it whenever we have such special occassion; like wedding, death ceremony and such. And also on Idul Fitri day.
9. Is your significant other close to your family?
Eh, actually I don't have any at the moment (aka single). But actually there aren't any significant other of mine who is close to my family (because they are actually scared of my parents for some reasons).
1. Who called you most recently?
My best friend, Ari. We were talking about tonight's weekend plan.
2. What was the most recent sports game you watched?
I haven't been able to watch TV lately. Because I'm quite busy and I'm not much sport person myself.
3. Who is your most recent friend?
Recent friend? uh, let's see.. I think it's the people of my dad's office. I befriended them quite fast, because they're quite nice people. Haha, I didn't come to college so often lately, so yeah I couldn't befriended much people.
4. What was the most recent TV show you watched?
The last time I watched TV was on the last weekend, and the show I watched was Janice Dickinson's Model Agency thing, which is quite fucked up show o_O;;. Too many fights and arguments and I'm so tired of watching those kind of things. I hate reality shows, seriously.
5. What was the most recent music that you purchased?
Paul Oakenfold's A Lively Mind CD.
6. What were the most recent clothes that you purchased?
A pink flowery onepiece, on Taman Anggrek's Parissian. Bought for $22, which is quite reasonable for such beautiful dress! xD
7. Who most recently did you say “I love you” to?
Ah I can't remember, it's probably to my dad.
8. Who did you most recently text?
My best friend, Ari. I was asking him to spend the tonight's weekend with me. But then my car driver didn't come until 8.30 pm. So we cancelled the plan.
9. Who did you most recently kiss?
Kiss... As for lip kisses, it's HIM.. D: And I still couldn't forget the taste of his kisses. But seriously, I want to forget it, forever. So my heart wouldn't feel so hurt anymore.
Uh yeah, so it's my own fault because I don't have any boyfriend so I couldn't spend the weekend happily with someone.. Oh well. It's no use to complaining, isn't it? Well, at least, this weekend is quite peaceful, even I'm alone in my room (and my house as well) right now. I wish I had any friend who would like to spend their time chilling out on any cafe, though. I feel like to drink caramel macchiato right now..
At least, I did quite good on today's presentation on my "design view" class.
I was quite nervous because my friend was actually forgot to send me an email about my presentation source. So yeah, I did my best on my talk, I guess. College was surprisingly fun as well, today. How I wish all of the college classes would be as fun as today, oh well! I feel like to go graduated faster, though. I can't wait to be professional graphic designer.. Yeah, I have to improve my computer graphic designing skill and also my English conversation skill first, though :D
Well, I'm going to do a meme after this entry, probably. And also, waiting for Channel V's Club V. Hopefully they would show the program today. I need more recommendation on great club songs! And club songs are the things which would cheering my mood up on weekends, seriously. And I really feel like to go clubbing, but sadly there aren't any friend of mine who would like to go with me -_-;;. I'm so cannot wait for being a real graphic designer and fully working on design company, so maybe there would be chances to meet friends who has the same interest with me out there. Yeah, I hope those wishes would be coming true once I get graduated, seriously..
Today's work was quite sucks.
I mean, I was almost have a fight with Woro, because she said meanest things.. But we're okay now, I'm not sure about her though. I know she's in pressure, but why the hell should she put the blame on herself? Sometimes people who are too ambitious couldn't understand how the others feel.. It's not that wanted to be the best on things is a bad thing, but sometimes you need to care about other's feelings.. I'm quite worried about her, seriously. Because she's type of person who is easy to get a down feeling when she couldn't be the best on things. But then, when she said those mean things, I was feeling out of blue, seriously. I didn't mean to be annoying or anything, but I just want her to relax for a bit! Am I that wrong? -_-;;. I hate to get into a fight with my best friends, seriously. Sometimes, people just don't understand how I'm feeling about them, specially when I'm worried about them. I know, this work we're currently doing is quite hard, but by making it such big deal wouldn't solve any problems, seriously. Why can't you take it as small matter rather than the big one? I know I'm not an accountant and I'm not as OMGSMART like her. But I can understand how it feels, seriously. Does she think that becoming a pro graphic designer would be so fucking easy and wouldn't have any problems in life?? All I know is, working in big companies would be much harder than on my dad's office. The people around you wouldn't be so nice to you and want to kick you out for exchanging their position into yours. Specially, when you have such great reputation and being trusted by your boss. And of course, the bosses on big companies WOULDN'T be very nice to you. Oh yes, they know they have such high position in the company and they think that everybody in the office are so afraid of them. So they would just use their position to intimidating you. And they would say the meanest things you've ever heard. Like how retarded, unexperienced, stupid and fucked up you are. And they would be making you feeling so down and useless. I knew that... It's not just a fake stories, but it did really happened on real life. Getting a job in big companies CAN'T always help you in everything. It DOES NOT guarantee your happiness. Having such BIG SALARY doesn't mean you would have BIG HAPPINESS. Oh well.. I think every job has its own great things and also some minus things. So, I hope she could understand how I feel.. It's just because I'm worried about her and don't want her to get sick or over-stressed. That's all. She needs to take things more easily and she needs to be relaxed just for a bit. I really think that she needs vacation, seriously. I know, life is hard, but it depends on the way you face it.
Well, end of rant.
I want her to realize how I truly feel about her. I don't want to get into arguments anymore. Is it so hard to understand? I mean, you can't always depend on others, you must face things by yourself, but when there's someone near you, who wanted you to be relaxed and he/she's willing to help you out as they can, why wouldn't you take that things more easily and let yourself relaxed just a bit? It's not that I don't have problems in my life, seriously I've had too much of them, and I'm so fed up. But nowadays, I'd like to take them more patiently and I would just think of them as some challanges in life. I don't want to make them as the hardest things to do. I am actually scared of getting graduated so late.. I still have lots of classes I haven't take and I also have some failed classes.. -_-;; So, I think getting graduated on year 2009 is pretty much impossible. I would get graduated on 10th semester, on June 2010, I think. Oh well.. I'm actually feeling so sad after hearing this. But I won't give up, seriously. I might not the best on the list, but I want to try my best and do whatever I can to get graduated faster so I can get a real job and continue with my own living, I don't want to keep depending on my dad's money anymore. Well, I still think that she's luckier than me.. She has the brain, she has the ability and actually she already HAD him (I mean her lover), but she didn't realized how lucky she already is. Oh well.. Talking about all of these things is making me even more depressed, actually. But I'm NOT GIVING UP.
...And why the fuck I'm still not able to erase the memories of him?? fuck...
I remembered about when he took me home with his motorcycle. When I was able to hugged him from behind. Oh well.. I realized I feel like a fool because I'm still thinking of him. Just why can't I erase the traces of him..? I can't even help but still looking at the street of his house whenever my car passed by the Harapan Kita Hospital. Call me an over-melancholic girl, but I can't forget him, still.. Maybe I need a new love, to kick him out of my mind. Why am I still feel like to cry whenever I listen to MLTR's The Ghost of You song?? -_-;; Love is seriously annoying, and I'm actually scared of falling in love anymore.
.....So, tomorrow is an another weekend.
Would something special happen tomorrow? I want to go back to the times when I was able to spend the weekend with him. Gosh, what the fuck did I just said?? I'm actually feeling kind of lonely, just thinking of him. But I can't deny it, I LOVE HIM. And actually I'm not a person who fall in love so easily. But why can't I forget him even I tried to? His birthday is coming.. on May 22nd. Would I be able to forget about him once that day passed? Oh well. Well, I want this weekend to be peaceful. That's all. I don't have any other wish, though. I just want another peaceful weekend on this month. I feel like to go clubbing if I can, though.
Well yeah, today is quite depressing day. I don't know if I would be able to face anymore depressing days on the next week though. Well, I just want to work seriously... Maybe I would just go and continue working on my dad's website, probably.. I might just go and sleep earlier today, I'm so tired and I have a presentation tomorrow. Well yeah, wish me luck. I hope I will be able to do my best tomorrow.
1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
I would say "wtf??" because I don't even have any boyfriend!
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
Only a few of them. I'm usually trying to pick the best topic to discuss, actually.
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Sure, why not?
4. Do you believe that everything that happens happens for a reason?
I do
5. Can you make a pound in change right now?
I can't, I guess..
6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Nobody, because most of my friends are quite careless persons.
7. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Uh yes, because love hurts, in my opinion. And I haven't been happily in love. So yeah, maybe I'm scared of it.
8. How many cars are on your drive?
1
9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
Uh, him.. I mean, my ex crush.
10. What’s your most favourite scar?
Gosh, I didn't know there's any scar that could be a favorite..
11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
Around the middle of year 2006, I think.
12. What did the last text message you sent say and who to?
"Girl, are you arrived yet? hehehe, if you don't want me to call you right now, then that's ok, because I want to go to bed early today. I'm not mad or anything but I'm so bored right now, I want to find someone to talk to. Hehehe.. Well, I'm so tired today, I don't know why, but I just can't sleep -_-;;" and the sms was for Woro.
13. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
Features? well, I like guys who dressed well and the mature ones. I like metrosexual man. I like man whose smells great (I like smelling their perfumes xD). I usually loved man who has white/pale skin. And I like six-pack bodies man.. haha seriously, they make me melty =P. As for their brain and manner. I love the man who have such great knowledges and has great view about life. I prefer the man who don't like to "sell out" romantic things, because I hate over-romantic relationships, it's quite cheesy. I like man who's much older than me! (26-30 years old is preffered), because I normally couldn't stand younger or guys on the same age with me.
14. Fill in the blank. I love___________
Shopping~!
15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Get graduated on the end of year 2009 to become professional and successful graphic designer, get married to "the one" who is destined for me, have kids with him, and live in stable, peaceful and happy life until the rest of my life.
16. Do you ever disobey your parents?
Oh yes, I surely do. I'm too often doing it that I forgot how many times I did that until now.. Sometimes I feel bad for doing that, but there are times when I didn't regret it at all, because sometimes it's my parents' fault.. D:
17. How many kids do you want to have?
One daughter is fucking enough.
18. Would you make a good parent?
Maybe I would, if I have only 1-2 childrens. I would love my children as much as I do though, despite of my hatred on little kids.
19. Where was your default picture taken?
When I was playing the doll thing on the net by randomly.
20. What’s your middle name?
I have no middle name.
21. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
Honestly huh? I was thinking of sex.. and how good it was when I did it few weeks ago (without losing my virginity though), specially the part when he sucked my breast and licked it... it turned me on so badly. but Hahaha, like anyone cares..
22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I wish I didn't meet him, so I didn't have to feel so hurt inside my heart.... -_-
23. Who was or will be the maid of honour/best man at your wedding?
Bride's maids, huh.. I think they would be Elfrida & Woro. They're my dearest friends <3.
24. What are you wearing right now?
White ROXY t-shirt and light brown short pants.
25. Righty or Lefty?
Righty!
26. Best place to eat?
*Tries to make list* Sate Senayan, Bakwan Malang, Bakmi GM, Soto Pak Sadi, Beppu Menkan, Soto Ayam Asli Cabang Kelapa Gading, McDonalds, Sushi Groove, Fish & Co, Meatball stand near my college building, A&W restaurant, Pacific Place's restaurants, Pizza Hut, and many many many more I couldn't think of.
27. Favourite jeans?
I don't like wearing jeans, but I bought most of them from ZARA, MANGO and Levi's.
28. Favourite animal?
Siberian Husky, Shiba Inu, cats and rabbits.
29. Favourite juice?
Apple, orange, tomato, sirsak, grape
30. Have you had the chicken pox?
yes
31. Have you had a sore throat?
God, of course I had....
32. Ever had a bar fight?
Hahahaha I wish I had it before xD
33. Who knows you the best?
My best friend, Woro.
34. Shoe size?
38 or 39
35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
Both.
36. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Of course I don't!
37. Been to Mexico?
Nope and didn't want to.
38. Did you buy something today?
This cute pink dress on LAVINDA (of Parissian on Taman Anggrek) and meatballs + fried pangsit from BAKMI GM.
39. Did you get sick today?
Yeah, I think I caught a flu.
40. Do you miss someone today?
*Points at the previous entry*
41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
Uh, it wasn't fight but I was mad at Woro today because of her being over-depressed and that influenced me to get depressed as well. I meant to cheering her up, but then it turned out ugly, oh well.
42. When is the last time you had a massage?
Last week.
43. Last person to lay in your bed?
My mom, like few hours ago.
44. Last person to see you cry?
Let's see, I think it's HIM... -_-;;
45. Who made you cry?
HIM.......
46. What was the last TV show you watched?
Channel V's Janice Dickinson Model Agency thing.
47. What are your plans for the weekend?
Dunno, maybe I'll just spending the rest of the day by laying on my bed, getting online (to the net), listening and downloading some albums and sleeping. Because I lacked of sleep lately...
48. Who do you think will repost this?
Nobody.
49. Who was the last person you hung out with?
Woro, on this evening before she went to her accounting computer lesson on BiNus Center.
